He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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