Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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