Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
