then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
