I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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