At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize