I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
