Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
