member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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