Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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