Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
