So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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