What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize