I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
