chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize