matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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