U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
