We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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