why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
