The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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