when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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