I want you more than these girls want KFC
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
