just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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