youre lurking in front of me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
