i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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