dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
