from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
