i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
