I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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