I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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