That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
