nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize