it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
