Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
