i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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