Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
