she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
