she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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