she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
