He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I will pee on everything he values.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
