I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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