do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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