Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
