ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
