Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
