belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
