1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
