Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize