I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love you. Go after that dick
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
