I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i came on her dog
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
