Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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