Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
