If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
