Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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