I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
