I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
how does that bad decision feel?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
