I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
