His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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